Tuesday, 2 August 2016

“Here’s to Finding a Good Man”: The Chronicles of a (very) Single Felicity


I always joke with my friends and family that I’m going to die alone with a bunch of cats. It’s seriously a joke. I genuinely sometimes am worried as to why I’m still single, but I know that it’s going to be alright at the end of the day. I’ve had some serious relationships, and some not-so-serious relationships. I contemplated saying their first names because they have such common man names. However, I decided that I’ll change their names to save them the embarrassment of leaving such a cool girl like me.
(seriously, I have never dated a Matthew, a Zachary or a Michael)

I met Matthew when I was fifteen, and we sparked a crazy love affair until I was seventeen. We were on-and-off, more off than on it felt like; and we officially started dating when I was sixteen. He made me feel like I was living the teenage dream, hence why Teenage Dream by Katy Perry was our song. He was the one guy who extremely blunt with me, always saying things like “man your driving is so bad babe that you make me want to cry every time I hop in a vehicle with you!” He was everything that I wanted in a man, or so I thought. He was always super grouchy when I’d talk about my heart, which didn’t go over too well with my parents or me. He was a year older than me, so he went off to college while I was in my senior year. He only went to school two hours away, but it was still enough to put a strain on our relationships. When he went to college, he befriended a group of girls; which did not fly with seventeen year old Felicity in the slightest. Every time I went down, I would get in fights with him about it, which put a major strain on our relationship. Eventually, after a weekend of us fighting, we called me and said “Felicity, I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.” I had been dumped for the first time in my life and I felt broken for the first time in my life.

I waited over a year before I started dating my next boyfriend. We’ll call him Zachary. I met Zachary my very first day of college. I was extremely nervous for my first day of college, but Zachary was the “cool dude” who had been to college before so he knew what he was doing. I put him in the friendzone while I partied and lived up my first semester of my first year of college. By February, I started realizing that I had feelings for him when he invited my best friend and me over to watch the new episode of Jersey Shore and eat ice cream at his house since we didn’t have a TV to watch it on. The thing is: he hates reality TV shows, so I knew he was doing it to be sweet to Sam and I. He still lived at home to save money; one night they went away to visit his younger brother at college so he invited me to sleepover. Originally, the game plan was to watch movies and have a drink. After a few drinks, I admitted my feelings toward him and he said they were mutual. Then I blurted out “wanna be my boyfriend!?” and he said of course. That’s how to two year Zachary-and-Felicity saga began. It was a rollercoaster ride that I hadn’t prepared myself for. He spoiled me rotten, treated me like a princess and did everything that I wanted to do. That was until I discovered he was cheating.
About a week after our one-year anniversary, I was at his house. I forgot my laptop and he was at work, so I figured I would just sneak onto his to go on Pinterest. When I typed the “p” into the address bar, Plenty of Fish came up so of course I had to go investigate. It was then that I found he had a secret POF account where he was trying to pick up other women. I immediately broke up with him, because I knew that I couldn’t trust him.  After about a week of being broken up, I realized that I still had to finish college with him and we were the same major! Quickly, I got back onto the relationship bandwagon with Zachary. I never fully trusted him, and eventually broke up with him. One night, we were at our mutual friend’s cottage but my stomach was bothering me so I went home. The two of them went to the bar, and I woke up to a drunk text from Zachary saying “I hate you. Everyone is kissing someone here. I want to be kissing someone too, but I worry you’ll think I’m cheating on you”. At that point, I knew that I needed to end things for my own sanity. I asked him to come over, and I told him in person that I was done. He was extremely angry to the point that he scared me but I knew that in order to grow, I needed to end things. I still love Zachary, and probably always will have feelings for him; but I knew that in order to keep growing, I needed to ‘do me’ for a while.

I met Michael this past October. It was a solid three years of flings and guys that I just knew that it was time for me to make the choice to settle down. Michael was a great dude to settle down with, and I think overall he made me a much more humble person. I met Michael through Sam, my best friend from college as he’s a good friend of hers from high school. Meeting him was actually one of the funniest nights I had in a long time. After last call, I said “I just really want to go on an adventure” and after a night of flirting, Michael agreed to go to a park near his house to play on the swings. One thing led to another, and the next morning he asked me to hang out again with him that night. I said yes, and the rest is history… sort of. We were together from October until February, where we developed a routine; Friday nights were for going out and Saturdays were for relaxing. It was a fun, laid back relationship, which was unusual for me. Michael genuinely made me a better person. In January, after one night of drinking with friends, he asked me to sit down and talk. We mutually agreed that we were on different wavelengths of our lives; that he was still wanting to go out with friends on Fridays and party whereas I wanted to settle down and move out. We agreed to try to make it work, but it just didn’t. We tried to stay friends after the initial breakup too, but it also didn’t work out. I personally think we tried to be friends way too soon post-breakup, and neither one of us had an opportunity to move out of the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Honestly, Michael was my shortest relationship but he by-far was my favourite. He made me a better person, a stronger person and someone that I can look back at and be happy with. The memories with him were some of the funniest, because he was so carefree. I’m lucky that I had the time I did with Michael. As I previously said, he was my shortest relationship; but I think I Zachary cherish his relationship more than my relationships with Zachary and Matthew because of the memories.
Overall, I would say that I’ve had some not so great luck with guys. I’m only 23 though, and figure that I’ll meet someone eventually.  
There is good news from all of these failed relationships. I have found out what my type of guy is. I prefer a tall, bearded millionaire. Just kidding. Sort of. I do like a taller gentleman with some nerdy qualities (especially glasses). Bonus points if he’s a brunette, has a car and a job. Therefore, if you know anyone who matches these qualities, send them my way because Tinder is full of creepy non-nerdy guys! 

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